Of Course

Of course I am feeling depressed from today but I am depressed for other reasons. I really wish I could get going on something to make myself better from not being able to have the space to express myself. I know we are back there again. Unfortunately it's a continuing theme in my life and wont stop until something drastic happens. Lulu is really doing well at the moment. I just cant become unstuck. I am sure I have you guessing by now what am I speaking about or referring to all the time. Unfortunately I cant come out and just say it. It is not as simple as that believe me. I would love to if the circumstances were different. Don't hold your breathe about it ever happening. Since I am really condemned to remain like this indefinitely. Damn you say. Yes it is very complicated and I will refer to it in very round about terms. I will never be able to tell you outright what it is. So your going to have to keep surmising as to what I am referring to. Sorry about that. It's just the way it has to be. I am not kidding either about this it is really real.